Crystal's Birthday Cake!

It was a romantic idea! I ordered an ice cream cake from a fancy French bakery for Crystal's birthday - chocolate, of course, with vanilla ice cream inside. They're expensive, but she's worth it. Then that evening, the day before her birthday, I walked in the kitchen and found a bowl full of red velvet cake mix ready to pour into the cake pan. "Making your own birthday cake?" I asked, trying not to reveal my disappointment. "Oh well", I thought, "it'll still be a surprise."

The next morning, I taxied to the bakery to pick it up. The Senegalese lady pulls the beautiful cake out of the fancy glass freezer. The room is full of people buying their breakfast pastries, all drooling over the work of art with dainty chocolate ribbon floating on tempting billows of creamy white icing. She set the rectangle shaped cake in its box, then to my horror, she smashed the lid down on it!

“What are you doing!?!” I exploded! “You smashed it!” The lady looked at me, surprised by my outburst. “It doesn’t fit in the box” she replied matter-of-factly. “Why didn’t you get a bigger box?!” I demanded. “This is the box it goes in,” she stated in the tone that you would use to explain to a child why the left shoe does not go on the right foot. “I don’t want it!” I told her. “You have to pay for it,” she said, “because you ordered it.” Then she turned and went through the swinging doors into the back room.

Seconds later, she emerged with a white lady, whom I presume was the owner, who had that stern face that only an annoyed Frenchman can make. “Sir, you must purchase the cake since you ordered yesterday.” Her judgment was made before she even arrived at the counter. “She smashed the lid on it!” I explained in an only slightly less expressive tone. The lady opened the box. The chocolate ribbon, crushed, like splinters scattered on pressed snow laid sadly displayed for all to see. “You may choose a different cake,” she said apologetically.

With the beautiful raspberry cake in my arms, I stopped the first taxi I saw. I told him, “Please hurry so my ice cream won’t be ruined.” I was afraid the cake would melt before I got to my office.

Crystal came to the office later that morning, and I surprised her with the cake! It was the response I’d hoped for, even if it wasn’t the cake I’d planned on.

When Crystal got home with the cake, she dropped it on the floor.

Fortunately, it was well frozen and protected by the box, and it wasn’t destroyed, but I thought, “I should have stuck with the smashed chocolate cake.” But we ate a third of it for dinner, and it was very good.

Three days later, Crystal had a bad day, and at midnight, she decided she was going to console herself with some raspberry ice cream cake. She opened the deep-freeze and immediately realized that two days earlier, she had forgotten to turn it back on after running the generator during a power outage. She took the raspberry ice cream cake float and dropped it in the trash can.

It WAS a romantic idea.